Thoughts on discipline...

Discipline.

Just look at the word.  Say it.  It has an edge to it.  So easy to slide into a pejorative mindset about it...  and, I hate it.  Not discipline.  I love discipline.  I hate the misperceptions as it pertains to our world.

The definition put forth by Merriam-Webster doesn't help:

discipline (noun)

1 : Punishment 

2 obsolete : instruction 

3 : a field of study 

4 : training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character 

5 a : control gained by enforcing obedience or order   b : orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior   c : self-control 

6 : a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity

(It also takes the form of a transitive verb, but the gist is just the same.)

As a Dom I'm truly dismayed by and vehemently disagree with the presence of #1 on this list, and equally dismayed at the obsolescence of #2.  Numbers 3 - 5 seem adequate.  

Number 6 captures the essence of discipline as I feel relates to my role as her Dominant.

I'm continually surprised at the correlation between discipline as a negative influence in our lives.  In my view discipline is anything but negative...  it is a source of pride, the foundation of achievement, a worthy foe, a good friend on a bad day, the purest form of honesty.

So, then, why does it have such a negative connotation?  Too many people associate discipline with punishment.  They use the term interchangeably, and it makes my skin crawl.  They are not interchangeable; they are interdependent.  Discipline and punishment have a cause-and-effect relationship resulting from a negative outcome.  The flip side is discipline and reward:  the result being positive outcomes.  Punishment is merely the manifestation resulting from a lack of discipline:

"I'll teach that bitch some discipline."  **off slides his belt**

No.  At this moment, he's teaching her punishment.  And, to be clear, that's just fine!! (Although, personally, I don't care for physical punishment.)  Just don't call it discipline...  please.  In doing so you run the risk of fundamentally warping her sense of right and wrong.  I coach high school football...  I see it all the time; kids cringing at the "d" word; completely ignorant of how valuable it is as a life's tool, how pivotal it is to their ability to learn success and failure.

My role as Miss K's King is to teach her disciplined behavior and the consequences that result from her subsequent actions, both good and bad...  to help her achieve her utmost potential as a person and keep her there.  It's my job to establish the standard of behavior; the system of rules that establishes boundaries and guideposts for her to use as a barometer for her decision-making.  I know how to make her flourish, and I can teach her, but ultimately it's up to her to make it happen.  Discipline is the key.

If applied in your relationship with genuine, constructive, loving intention, you will actually find yourself administering very few punishments.  That is my reward.

--King IV